TURNING 27..

Yes, finally after the THALA Rajinikanth’s b’day, its mine.. after hearing to 12-12-12 hangama, I am feeling bad that there will be no 13-13-13.. L. I was born on Friday the 13^th. So neither I nor anyone in my family feels 13 as unlucky. Its always a lucky number for me..

Ok, let me think what good can I write on this day? Something about me?? if I write 27 things, it would become to long a list.. so let me write just 13 things about me…

1. No identity girl. Illiterate by definition of literacy.  Let me explain, born in Andhra Pradesh, brought up in Chennai. So, I know to talk both the languages and cant read or write both. So, I belong to both and not fully.
2. Aspiring fashion designer turned into architect. But Bunty has picked up a better dressing sense than me. J
3. An elder sister turned out to be  a parent than a sibling to younger sister because of the age gap. Yes, there is 10 solid years of difference.
4. A person who always wanted a daughter, and luckily has one.
5. An artist, who likes to draw only women, makes sure that the pictures has something or the other little revealing.
6. A small semi-classical dancer, who loves dancing and giving stage performances. Still feels butterflies running in her stomach, before every performance.
7. A bad cook. Any dish prepared for first time, comes out really well, but when tried next time, its always a mess.
8. Spendthrift. Any amount of money you give me, I can spend it all buying toys and things for my daughter.
9. Cry baby. Can become emotional reading a book or watching a movie.
10. A person who has lived more with MIL than Hubby. And has a relationship just running on phone conversation and skype.
11. A person who can pick up fight for bad costumer service, and ends up shouting at some one or the other when we go out.
12. A person trying to take all the burden all alone, in spite of other offering help, as she wouldn’t get satisfied with others selection or way of doing things.
13. A person who plans for everybody’s b’day. But gets back no wishing from others on her b’day.

Yes, bunty was not ready to wish me.. Instead she was telling everybody around  happy b’day, hubby didn’t send any gift, as the courier charge is more than the actual gift cost. So he wants to give me when we meet. That means no gift this year.. L. and not me.. and stupid bosses are coming from head quarters, so in office, trying to do last minute work.:(.

Only one good thing happened is dad , who has come here to vizag for my b’day. He got me 3 dresses and jeans. I was feeling bad for my increase in hip size, but happy that got a perfect fitting one.

So, let me wish myself.. happy b’day.

Car tales..

I have already told you about my car driving na.. Finally for past few months I am driving everyday to office. But I always had Ms.Young accompanying me. but this week she is out of town and I am driving all alone. Driving alone is making me scary. I always felt if she was next to me, she would tell me what is coming from left. While parking and taking the car out she would be there to tell me what’s there.  But missing a person for just to improve driving skills is bad, but what to do??

So I drove successfully, but the last day, today became a mess. I was in a rush to cross an important signal, and hit a car in the process. I mean, bumped on it. I knew I was going close, in the panic state, I put my leg on accelerator instead of brake. But luckily some cells in my brain worked, I put handbreak instantaneously.  Luckily nothing happened to Honda CRV which was in front of me. just few paints marks went missing. Luckily the driver and owner came out, saw me in almost crying state, just asked me to be careful and left. Yes, they left without making a fight or asking for money. No scene was created. So, I missed the signal, waited next to his car for the signal to get cleared.. The driver,( honda’s) signaled the driver on my left side to lift my bumper which was hanging half down hitting on wheels. That guy helped me, smile at me and asked me to be calm. He suggested that I cross that signal, and take help of autowala in the stand and get the bumper tied with rope.  I just followed his instruction. Went there, spoke to the traffic constable standing there, got the bumper tied up. Yes, still people around us help us in need. Strangers can become your friends too.

Finally managed to drive till the car service centre which is near my office, but throughout the 10 kms journey my heart beat rate was high. Gave the car, and asked the service people to drop me at office. I am here typing, but still scared. What would have happened if I didn’t pull up the hand break. Or if there was a big fight or if the damage was more??

One of my colleagues told me, “accidents happen only when you think you have mastered driving or the confidence increases.”. I felt it is so true. Just today I felt, yes I can drive and this incident has shaken me.

Hope I drive back safely.

Happy Diwali

wish you all a happy and safe Diwali..

i think this is the only festival where we cant say, happy diwali and have a blast..

p.s: will update on bunty reactions seeing light and sounds of crackers 🙂

Multitasking..

When your left hand is busy moving front and back, right hand trying to be kept straight and once in while moving left or right, left leg half in air, right leg trying to give different pressures, eyes moving left,right center, and head trying to be calculative, ear listening and mouth tight shut.

Still dint get it? I am talking about learning a four wheeler. I have been trying to following all the instructions given by the instructor, felt this is the toughest multitasking I am doing.

Let me explain,

Class1: just try to keep the steering in control. I practiced that one full class. And to keep the vehicle to one side of the road, left extreme.

Class 2: I learn, ABC or driving. No no its CBA.. clutch, break and accelerator. I try and start car with just half release of clutch, feel the engine gear up and move the car. It was quite a task. Every time i do,  the car used to stop. Then comes the gear. The instructor shows me the diagram and says first,2^nd,3^rd,4rth and reverse gear. I practice to move in 2^nd gear.

But what is the mistake I do?? Guess??

Not pressing the clutch and trying to move the gear..

Class 3: I take the car on NH5, yes on a highway, and move the car in 2,3 and 4^th gear. Yup, this increased my confidence.

Class4: now the twist of turning came. For someone who is thin with not much of strength on arms, try out to turn the mechanical steering, at sharp cuts. So I was taken around a park and made to just turn and turn. Turn left, right.. oh don’t for the indicator.

Class 4: now, it time for me to practice speed controlling. Only with accelerator , slow brake and just to move the car in first gear and clutch control .

Class5 : trying to drive with the footwear. Yes, first 4 classes were with bare foot on ABC.. but I had to Judges the pressure applied with footwear.

Class 6: here comes the reverse. The car moves in the direction you rotate the steering, its not mirror driving. It took time for me to understand the concept. So again in the park, move left and right and go straight back.

Class7: trying to make and 8. Yes, it was part of driving test to be taken, so again go to plan hockey ground and make an 8, and drive on the previous tire marks made.

Class8: repeat all the above classes.

Class9: her, I am asked to park the car in the basement of my apartment. I struggle. Move the car front, take reverse, and move front.

Class 10: practice reverse on a curved road and 8, as I was taking the driving test that day.

What happens, I go the RTO office. Show my LLR letter. They ask me to take a car standing there and give me the keys.

Now I try and recollect the instructions given by the instructor

Step1: adjust the car seat. Yes, I am short, so have to move the seat forward.

Step2: unlock the hand break

Step 3: start the car

Step 4: move the car only in first gear. As passing the test is more important than showing the speed skills

Step5: carefully use the indicators before turning

Step6: follow the 8 path, take the simplest entry , so coming out and turning is not a problem

Step7: carefully take the car into the inbuilt ditch with half clutch and accelerate more to bring out the car. Remember, that car is in 1^st gear.

Step8: carefully turn the car. Stop, take reverse with right hand on window pane, head turning back, and take reverse. ( yes my car stops here. The reverse gear was not falling in its place. I don’t panic, but try again and succeed. I was driving really slow that, people didn’t notice my car stopping.

Step9: I bring the car back to the location and stop it.

Step10: report back to the traffic officer and he says, “PASS”.

That’s how I get my license.

Finally I bought a secondhand car. After  2 months of getting license, I drove to office today. Thanks to my colleague who was kind enough to accompany me on my first day to office, in my car.

I am like, yes I did it.. in spite of hitting the compound wall while taking reverse, stopping and trying to start car in middle of a big signal, not getting panicked with lorry fellow trying honk honk, missing two speed breakers.. Driving in Vizag rains..

Note: you may hear more stories on driving from now on..

Ps. I don’t even know to drive a two wheeler, my dad has a strong feeling that I don’t have road sense.

on cloud nine..

today morning i was waiting near a road junction for my colleague to come and pick me up.  sai, my neighbors son was walking towards me with him mom. he was going to his school. he shouted bye akka( sister).

i went towards him to give him a chocolate.

sai’s mom: she is not akka dear, she is bunty’s mom na.. so call her aunty

me:( fuming inside): yes, i am bunty’s mother..

sai: no no, i will call her akka only.

me: why???

sai: u dont look fat like my mom or wear sari na.. u dress up nicely all matching ,matching..

sai’s mom: confused..

i started laughing loud.. gave him another chocolate.. :)..

note: he thinks that all mom’s or aunties must be fat, wear saree and look not so dressed up. yes, the kid surely needs to change his thinking.. but i liked his innocence..

bunty talks

bunty was playing with my phone. she dropped it as usual. this time instead of crying, she tried to remove the battery and successfully removed the sim card too.

me: ohi, what are you doing??

bunty: charging..

i am surprised, from where she has learnt the word and used it for mobile. she is grasping things..

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while bunty is having food,

me neighbour: what are you eating bunty?

bunty: uppappu.. ( she means pappu, which is dal)

N: everyday you eat only pappu??

bunty: nods here head left and right saying no , and changes the food as kakka( that is what she is taught for Non-veg food).

again she has become manipulative. she doesn’t want others to comment on her food.  god knows from where she is getting these qualities.

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i am successful in teaching bunty to say rather the actions for good morning,evening, shaking hands. she says thanks you too.. 🙂

she can identity nose, lips and eyes.  lot more to go.. she has learnt to show the things what she wants. she will show her sipper when she is thirty and feeding bottle when she is hungry. that is a good sign indeed.

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now coming to the complaints about her,

she like to wear chappals,sandals and any footwear. but the bad part is she will want to wear everybody’s in the lobby. she will eventually push the shoe rack, ( i am scared that it will fall on her) and will try everything . she will search of the correct pair and will walk inside the house too with it. then i will have to take it back, ask my neighbors if it is theirs and arrange everybody’s shoe-rack. :(.

she already has four pairs for her, but still not satisfied like amma( me me me.. :))

she generally does her susu or potty in one corner of the house. she is scared to use potty seat, so we let her go, as she doesn’t do any where else. even if she is in my neighbors house, she would come back home and do it, or else she would do it the entrance lobby. but now a days she is purposefully doing it one me. today she did it on me at 8.45am. that means no time to change. hence rush to office with same cloths, smelling susu. hope ppl dont think it did it.. 😦

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did i tell you?

bunty wanted dog. she saw a dog on road and wanted it. so, what did i do, bought her a toy. so, now she is playing with it and wants to take it for a walk like my neighbors do.. 🙂

http://www.ashreyamom.wordpress.com

 

God save me and world around !!!

It’s raining.. Yes, I love rain when it is a holiday; I am at home and not going out. But today, I do not like it. I have to come to office, unfortunately chose to wear white cloths. I have to walk cautiously so that, no car splashes the water on me.  I forgot to take umbrella too today. God save me !!!

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It was so unfortunate to hear about the train accident in the morning. . It happened near my native place. My brother-in-law was supposed to travel in it, but luckily went on in other train as per his old schedule. Still that fear “if he had traveled” is so scary. Nobody to blame, but it just happened.

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I got some rashes 3 days ago. Didn’t know the cause. Went to doctor, he too couldn’t find out. I told you na, my BIL was here for the weekend, he found out small insects on the window AC. It was tiny as dots, and whenever we switched on the AC, it would fall directly on to the bed. Hence we found out the reason. These small insects generally come for hens droppings. After opening the windows we realized that few pigeons come and sit and shit on the AC unit. These insects have come for them. So from yesterday we have been sleeping on living room floor.

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today everybody in office went to particular table, and were laughing so loudly looking the monitor.  this is not the first time this is happening. they are not ready to include me to the group. their discussion continued and one person kept on checking my reactions and wanted to ensure that i am not listening to it. arey its office, they are discussing in loud voice, and i am not so dumb also. i could understand that they were seeing some colleague’s half dressed photos. they had been to beach on Saturday and had fun. intelligent them, they didnt even know that i can see the monitor’s refection on the window behind.  best part is they calling it as boy’s talk and excluding me from the conversation.. i just wanted tot ell them, ” grow up bachu”..  i am not the one who is going to feel bad for it, or react..

The I stood up-Blogathon

Have you had such a moment when you stood up? Presenting the ‘I Stood Up’ blogathon! Write about a situation in your life when you stood up – for yourself or for another.

 

This was the question asked by womensweb. I kept thinking thinking, but couldn’t recollect anything strongly. Then I thought why not take up the points raised by womensweb and look by in my life, if I did anything? Oh yes, it looks like I have almost raised my voice for every topic given below.

Against inequality- injustice happens all the time. At times, it is injustice just for you, at times it is for your group, sometimes to entire human race.

First injustice I noticed, or heard from my mother that, my birth as a girl was not accepted by my father or family, but my boy cousin’s was celebrated. This didn’t stop there, but grew with me. One fine day when I was 8, I protested to my grandmother, saying I won’t accept this indifference, and I needed justice. I wanted to play with new toys, study well and get all benefit what my boy cousin gets. I was so adamant, and in fact threatened my grandma that, I would complain to police about the inequality at home. Though family laughed at the moment, but realized the depth of my feelings (as I protested without taking food for a day or so) and changed. My father changed so much that he just wanted his next child to be girl. Now, family welcomes birth of girl child more enthusiastically.

Against harassment- it was not that I reacted to harassment very first when I faced it. It took time for me to gain up the courage. This courage came only after I discussed a particular eve-teasing incident with my neighbor’s daughter. I was in school, and she was in college. This happened in front my mother. My mother being by ever support asked me to speak out. She said, “how would I know what happened until you open ur mouth.” That was enough for me to open up. I   knew she was there for whatever I reacted. Next time whenever someone tried to feel me up, I always give a stare to him, to confirm whether it is intentional or accidental. When I know that is intentional, I just ask him what he wanted, loud enough for others to hear and look at the guy. ( I am not writing a particular incident as it happens regularly when I travel in bus).i am still standing up against the harassment faced in public transportimage courtesy: link

 Against oppression- this happened when I was in school. A particular teacher was partial towards Brahmin community. She would give them more marks and treat my fellow classmates who belong to the group well. At one point I couldn’t take it anymore. There is a particular Tamil slang which is used by Tamil Brahmin. So, I learnt the language and submitted my project work to my teacher and said,” project-a attu lendu kondavandu submit panituen. Nenga ada seta pathu,full mark podunga.” ( I brought my project from home, please see it and put full marks). She understood my intention of using the language and stopped being partial. I stood up for myself and my classmates against oppression.

 Against prejudice- while my college admission, my parents asked me to write all engineering entrance. But I was adamant in writing architecture entrance. It was by default taken that I don’t know much about the world. Somehow I wanted to prove them that I had done enough of research and can write an entrance exam even without coaching. Yes, I proved them that I could do it by bagging a state rank and becoming an architect now. I stood up for myself and proved that I can think ahead of my age.

image courtesy:link

 Against discrimination- I am the only female in my dept. I didn’t have any problem. But, when the site work was on, my boss never asked me to go to site as I was pregnant. But, other colleagues started making statements saying that I was not given much of work being women but take full salary. This irritated me. I spoke back saying that, I am being paid for the work I do. I don’t have to answer anyone other than my boss. They are no one decide on my capabilities. I also went through all the procedure like them for entering this particular job profile. On requirement I would work on night duties too. there were days, i was asked to work on weekends too despite the gender. i was more eager as i had to prove them. i even took few site analysis alone, climb up and down the scaffolding, talk to labors and came up with good results. now i am considered as part of team and not looked down because of my gender in the construction field. I stood up for women community working in a construction profession.

Against injustice- property division.  My parents wanted to give me more share, as I was the elder and help them out in finances. I felt bad and asked them to reconsider and give equal share to me and my sister. I stood up against the injustice in a relation based on responsibility undertaken.

there are many instances when everyone has stood up. few are note worthy, few are life saving and few are just for self satisfaction. noted ones are published on papers and take media’s attention. few just say thanks and go away and few instances we say sabash to ourselves.

now my only aim is to make child child aware of her rights and act judicially. 

Satyamev Jayate- touch the un-touched.

I think the the show just aired things happening in the village and didn’t give the perspective of people living in suburbs.

In my native palce:

I don’t know if many of you have seen the untouchablity. I have seen it at my very tender age. I was not allowed to play with the maid’s daughter, as I can’t touch her. Or she can’t touch me. She was served food in separated plate and glass, it has to be washed by her and kept in a corner of the kitchen. I even remember asking my grandmother, when she can’t touch us, why do get work done by her. She is touching our things, and we are indirectly touching it.  Result, no answer. ( all this happened in my grandmother house)

I have also seen another telugu community, where they don’t touch their kids till they are few years old, the baby is taken care of by a lower caste person, all day and night. Somehow it is also a notion that all the mediocre jobs are done by lower caste person.

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I mean, who created this, low high, caste etc. my understanding is, people were just grouped based on their occupation in olden times. That became even surname for many. But things gradually changed with time, people changed their occupation and standard of living. There were few communities/caste people, who were not very privileged and Govt, came up with this reservations. (Another biased system)

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At my home:

Then I completely forgot about it. We lived in a gated township. Where everything was normal ( as in people didn’t talk about caste-ism openly. ) but, still the group moved with their own community, which I realized in later years. It was ok with my parents if I had food/moved around with my neighbor’s, who belong to different caste or religion.

But things drastically changed during my college admission. I got really angry, when someone in the name of reservation got a better seat in college, with lesser marks then me. That is when I questioned about this system.

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I know the show talks about the caste, discrimination and lot more faced in the community, but it didn’t touch upon the undue privileges misused.  I am not saying anything wrong about the episode of SJ, but just adding on to it, things which I faced.

•   I was not given a good college seat, even when I deserved, as I didn’t belong to certain caste.( yes it irritates, when you can’t pursue your dream just because of the caste)
•  I was not allowed to attend some wedding, as they didn’t belong to my caste.( it was my maid’s wedding, as she belonged to lower caste.
•  I was not allowed inside a particular religious place as I was not of a particular community.
• Though I couldn’t afford so much fees during my college days, my parents had to struggle and pay, but someone who had both parents working, rich, paid half the amount as fees, as he/she belonged to reserved caste. ( is it not misusing the facility)
• After finishing the college, where ever I went the first question I was asked is which caste I belonged to?* irritates me tot he core, when i don’t answer, they ask if i belonged to lower caste and that is why hesitant to speak it out*.
•  Did any of face questions like, I thought you belong to certain caste, because of your complexion??
•  Isn’t it unfair that, someone would get promotion a year before me, as he/she belonged to particular caste?

There are so many problems, whether you belong to so called upper caste or lower caste. Why all this/ why can’t we just be human, do our work and move on in life. But unfortunately, we fill the very first application with caste name, when the child is born. With few hours we put them into the circle. India will prosper only when we remove the caste from all the application we fill.

note: you may or may not agree with me.. it is just my views.

When mom wanted to be a fashion designer…

http://www.ashreyamom.wordpress.com

http://www.ashreyamom.wordpress.com

http://www.ashreyamom.wordpress.com

long ago, i wanted to become a fashion designer.. but some how it didnt happen.. on weekend this is what happened.. i realized that bunty has developed modelling talent too.  my neighbors( 8th std kid, is found of bunty and dressed her like this. bunty comes home, gives poses to take picture.. in case if i think of changing my profession to designing, i have a ready model too.. what do u ppl say??