a silly book and its effect on me??

To get out of various tensions in life, i have started reading “fifty shades of grey”.I read few pages first, then thought it was distracting before the interview preparation and stopped reading it. i lend the book to my other colleague. now that i have nothing else to read, i came back to this book. in fact i made him come home and give me back the book.

reading few pages, i am back in dilemma. did i make mistake by lending him this book without reading it first? or did i make mistake in telling him, i need a proper break, don’t want philosophy but only THIS book? i knew it was a erotica, but what did I do?? i am just wondering will this have implication on my relationship with him? like other books will he be discussing this also to me??:P( though i secretly wish he does, to know how a boss thinks :))

coming back to the book. still i am halfway through it. should i confess that this book is master of Kamasutra?? now don’t expect any pictures or photos ok.. i mean the contents wise. a true knowledge giving book. you can find everything about sex in this book. you don’t have to hide and Google in internet. every word connected to it is there in this book. thought i am finding it odd to use them or write it in the blogpost.

this book has two main characters. i will do the actual book review later when i am done with the book. just two main characters, Mr.Grey and Ms.Steel. Rich successful man is behind a student for a short-time relationship. which doesn’t involve lovemaking but just F***ing. she has to sign a contract for this, which has too many clauses and conditions.

something in this book making me so vulnerable. is the book written so well that i am getting carried away? or is this to with my state of mind? what is it? i am enjoying reading every page of the book, yet getting disturbed? too confusing?? on top of it, I lend this book to boss?? his has read it first, and gave it back with a smile. now whenever i see him, i am not able to look at his eyes, as i know he has read the book. stupid me, i am recollecting few lines of the book, blush in between my work. what if somebody asks me what is it all about?? i am so carried away by the book that i get up little early to read few pages, read it when i am waiting for my boss to come to pick me up. i got so involved that i stopped talking to people around me or on phone( yes even with hubby its just few lines). my mind is all occupied with Mr.Grey. now I am also feeling sad that the book is going to come to an end. oh yes, it’s a trilogy. but that too has an end na..

people pray for me. i need to stay normal. I want to come out these stupid emotions and come back to myself. yes i wish for Mr.Grey, but i don’t want to search for him now( he he he). :).

interview- results are out.

finally the day arrived. I decided to wear my favorite white saree with sky-blue border. a pearl necklace to match with. wore simple make up. I was happy to see my other friends there. looking at one of them, I was sure that she would get selected. don’t know why, it was my gut feeling. PA came and read out the order in which we would attend the interview. I was supposed to go second. I sat in a corner looking at my notes.

my turn came. I went inside with little prayer inside. I was asked to sit. for first time I saw such a big panel. it consisted of 12 member for various disciplines. I was asked various questions. whatever I knew I answered confidently. few I blabbered. for none I kept quite. I was also asked to solve quadratic equation. guess what I couldn’t solve it. then came reverberation time, density, what not. I didn’t expect them to check my physic and mathematics skill. I felt so dumb not answering them. I wanted to bang my head on the wall. came out of the hall with disappointment.  

came back home. I was upset for two days. I knew I am not going to make it. came back to vizag. my boss had called the specialist to ask how I had done the interview. they said I was good. this was the only statement which brought back the smile on my face.

after a long wait, the results are out. and guess what?? I am there in the list, but in waiting list. that too not one.. in three.. again living with a small hope. I just can’t tell you my state of mind. :(.. feeling sad sad..