Before I write anything , let me confess its stupid me who has given her rights to play with my emotions, or I have still no excelled the art of ignoring. The one and only reason being “Bunty”.
Now that hubby is returning back to India, I am not sure if I need to be happy or sad. I know I am thinking too much, but I can’t stop myself from foreseeing the trouble which would come when hubby is going to stay with us.
I think a couple shares the responsibility of sharing the work in household. But in my case as I am away from hubby, need to mange everything.
I have to do regular stuff like others, paying bills( rent, milk wala, electricity, internet, landline, mobile, cable, watchman etc etc), buying grocery, cooking and cleaning the house. I also run behind banks, finding the best interest rates, taking loans, repaying them, discussing about it with hubby. I need to save, buy gold, property, and make investments in short. I need to think of tax savings, policy’s, premiums too. I need to keep track of Bunty’s health, vaccinations, regular check-ups. In between had to learn driving as I couldn’t run, share autos, or take buses. I had to go and visit so many secondhand car dealers, see cars, bargain, take them to car technicians and finally bought one. As if all this is not enough, take MIL and Bunty out on every weekend, to park, mall or exhibition or anything they demand.
I have to cook. Mil had stopped cooking long back. I make a breakfast( proper south indian onces like idili, dosa, pongal, upma etc etc),chutney, dry curry, rasam, dal everyday. I also make sure I give something extra to eat every day. Say sweet potato, sprouts, or fruits and fresh home made juice.
I also work at office. i.e. deadlines, discussions and being an Architect I am asked to be creative. This drains half my energy. keep in touch with ex-colleagues, remember b’days and wish all, send cards etc etc.
Once back home, cook rice for Bunty, and make tiffin for MIL and me. Feed Bunty, play with her, read stories for her,at times even give her bath . finally put her to sleep. And the routine follows. ( cant imagine doing homework with her when she goes to school).
Doing all these doesn’t pain me. The only things hurts me is after I all these, even if I don’t get appreciation, I don’t feel bad. But MIL complains to hubby that I am not taking care of her, and he stays countries away and scolds me on phone without knowing the truth. I feel hurt.
I don’t mind her telling around people, that she takes good care of her Bunty, does everything and forced to stay away from Chennai because of my work , and bitch about me as I am her DIL etc etc. I am hurt when she blackmails that she would leave me and go if I don’t treat her properly.
I don’t mind getting up extra hour before or sleeping an hour late and cleaning things when maids don’t turn up, or save extra money and buy her saree instead of buying something for me. I am hurt when she says that her son would leave me if she tells the truth about me( god only knows what is that). I am hurt that, after all I do everything, she keeps telling people that I treat her like maid.
Please someone tell me, what else I need to do, to make this DIL-MIL relation work?
Now that I have poured my heart, I am feeling light. What else to do, when my own ego stops me from crying.