Posted in learning and investigations, life, man and women

women thinking aloud of SEX…

I wish someone told me, it ok be a women and think about Sex and changing partner openly without being called as a slut or a whore.

How I wish I could too express the desire to look at men, the way they (men) look at women and fantasize cuddling together. Why is it wrong when a woman expresses her interest openly?

I look at both the sexes as same. Both have the urge and need to get satisfied physically. But somehow one gender has overtaken the other, where man sexual desire is taken for granted and women’ is not. Shouldn’t I being a woman think of it aloud and demand?

I always heard and understood that any physical relation, when it is not official (mean sex without marriage as a license) the first move is always by women.  I also hear and read a lot that, it is very difficult to satisfy as women’s urge and only they are capable of multiple orgasms. Girls are the only ones who get to know partially about sex from home, even at a tender age of 8 in name of sex education or awareness against abuse or by talk about puberty.

Still it is always a strict no-no when it comes to open talk about sex. Why is that when ever women wants to share a joke with has anything attached to sex or organs or orgasm is still a taboo.  Where women just chuckle, smile or give that rude “dare you” looks and move out of the circle.

I see one group talking about equality, In women and men, but can’t accept that fact that women too can say,” I would like to sleep with this guy”.

Why is that I see captions on T-shirts saying, 99% of men masturbate and rest 1% lie. Why even a freedom like self satisfaction accepted only one gender?

Now I know many of you guys would ask me,” who stopped you?”.

The answer is nobody has stopped me or any other female for that matter. Nor can anyone stop me if I really want to. But will such women be respected in our Indian society without being looked down? Will they too be given same respect like the married bahu’s of an Indian family given? Without being looked down, will she be encouraged and given a green signal.

I wish someone told me, it ok be a women. But unfortunately I live in a country when I can get grouped or raped if I go to pub. I am forced to wear cloths which are not comfortable or climate friendly. By chance if the tailor stitches the neck design an inch low, I am named a provocative woman. Then think of my state if I say,” I would like to sleep with that guy”. That’s it I would be named a slut, and taken for granted and every guy who crosses me would ask me for it.

Thank god at least now I see women openly accepting the fact that they have seen the forbidden “ blue picture” . Thanks to YouTube and Google.

I wish someone told me, it ok to be women in land of kamasutra and yet not be ashamed of expressing interest in sex.

Now people go on.. I am already prepared with the kind of comments I might get, still I wanted to express my view, and here they are..

I wrote it for the Write Over Weekend contest and as usual missed the deadline.. so just thought of posting it now, rather than keeping it in draft for long..




I welcome you here! My blog is primarily a blank paper with chronicles of my everyday thoughts and happenings around me spilling like colours. It has various hues, bright, cheerful at times dark episodes of my life. I like to speak a lot and tell stories, but rarely find patient listeners. So, here I am venting out, everything crossing my mind. it is also a record book of my little Barbie’s antics and growth. It is just not about the baby ,but also helps me to keep track of fights and special moments with husband, in-laws and friends. I am an Architect by profession working for an Govt. away from husband because of job location. I love writing, painting, reading and cooking (occasionally).I like roaming around and window shopping. But, now unable to move even an inch outside, because of my daughter. I am originally from Andhrapradesh and have lived in Tamilnadu for 25 years and now back in Andhra. So you will find mix of words from both the languages and me trying to settle down in this new place. Thanks for stopping by. I would love to hear from you. Please email me at

21 thoughts on “women thinking aloud of SEX…

  1. A very valid question that you have asked here! I would say we are a bunch of hypocrites. We pass judgement on sexually liberated women while it okay for our men to be sexually liberated after all it is a way of life!!

  2. You are so right! There is so much hypocrisy when it comes to a woman and sex. What is perfectly acceptable(and normal) for men, is a complete taboo for a woman! You make such a relevant point.

    1. yes smitha, in spite of many women saying they are independent, they live their way but still scared to put up their views openly.. 😦

  3. A sensitive topic to talk about, but very well put across.. i have heard girls saying, “that guy is handsome” , “he is so sexy with awesome physic” and such stuff.. those girls were frnds of our gang.. and everybody was chill about it.. moreover, the girls reacted, “yaar, kaise bol rahi hai?” and all stuff.. i believe now a days there is nothing as discrimination.. we see programs like MTV Roadies and Splitsvilla, girls do cat fight, talk abusive language, but they still have the respect they have.. as not all men say in public(infront) or frnds (who are girls), “i want to sleep with her” or something.. they may have the urge with in but it is unto the extent of control on self-expressiveness.. Girls, i believe talk a lot on these topics among themselves and basically guys does the same.. but i believe it is less on either sex to say it out loud in public..

  4. Most people in our country are hypocrites though they call themselves very modern and talk of equality of sex. They still have to grow up and understand that each human being has the right to choose their life and live it as they please. But then when these situations arise immediately become fanatically traditional. Great post and hats off for voicing your thoughts.

  5. Well, in our group which consisted of 6 girls, we discussed everything freely, but yes, I must agree that such kind of discussions we never did in public.

  6. You ask a valid point. I know of a man who admires other women openly. But one day his wife said of someone that ‘he is a handsome man’. Bas, that was it. You should have seen how the husband’s face went dark. So you can imagine the reactions when/if a woman expressed desire for someone!
    Women are somehow expected to be asexual beings. What nonsense.

    1. u r right Shail.. when an women expresses the interest, men cant take it.. think about the reaction what would come , if she decides to go ahead.. 🙂
      there is inequality.. i am sure the desire and expressing it openly also comes under the women empowerment like Bikram said..

  7. More power to you. Sexual liberation is an essential step in women’s empowerment. In a place like India, it firmly emphasizes the fact that women need to be taken care of as well. And sexuality is just one aspect of it. In a land where women’s needs are ignored and the man’s need take priority, this is a very powerful statement.

    Screw those who think otherwise. They’re hypocritical and you wouldn’t want to have sex with people like that anyway!

    1. well said Bhagwad.. sex is too a part of women’s empowerment.. wish i could have framed this too in the post.. thought the sense is same, but ur words make it stronger.

  8. What a coincidence! A colleague of mine and I were talking about the same issue this afternoon. We are a hypocritical lot. Otherwise, how could we accept men having two wives/mistresses as a norm but are quick to call names a widow who remarries?

    1. yes, this hypocracy has to change.. i am not saying the we need to promote women wanting multiple partners or anything. if somebody wants to experiment want to try out or say aloud about sex, it should not be humiliated.

  9. Hmm well don’t worry I am not going to say anything as you are expecting people to say a lot here..
    I think it’s personal choice to talk about all this you have mentioned or not.. but i agree with you ..

    They say many men have had sex before marriage well they have had this with the other gender and it takes two to perform the act so it is all happening but as you say it’sa taboo to talk like this for a lady.

    Don’t understand that but than in our nation we already know how people are two faced they say something but do the opposite what they do behind their closed doors is different.

    Thoughtful post.. I got to come back to read the comments myself….

    1. yes.. its still a taboo here.. this came up b’cas i heard a lady say this openly.. and people backbiting saying she is slut or how can she have such desires.. was really angry and came up with this post..
      stupid people also commented saying why dont u try me.. i dont want to take that girls name.. but ya, b’cas she is not married made it little better

      1. and the same people I bet (if men, want to go and have all these encounters before their marriage but want to marry a virgin.. I mean do they forget that the girl they are having it off with is also going ot marry someone sometime.. )..

        I had this conversation with a friend who is not a friend anymore, saying how he had it off with so many girls and how did he do this or that.. I jsut asked him one question does he realise that all these girls are now married or will marry .. and so many other boys have had with so many other girls .. and their are only so many girls in the locality … ( you getting my point) …

        He obviously does not like it , as he went storming out of the room saying the Girls in his household were not like that .. I mean this is hypocracy I think

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