A conversation I overheard. It was between a father and a son. Father was speaking on phone with is teenager son. Yes, I had heard only one side talk, but could understand the essence and built up the son’s dialogue( yes, I am creative in that, I can frame conversations).
Father: hello, did you finish studying XYZ topic?
Son: yes/no ( as I really don’t know) S uncle wants to take me out.
Father: sure you want to go out with the uncle?
Son: yes, I want to go out
Father: then, do one thing, take water bottle from the cupboard and wash it. Fill water from the aqua guard, put it a plastic cover and take it with you.
Son: (may be asks about some food. )
Father: don’t take outside food. Eat at home. Say no when uncle offers you cold drink.
Son: (probably agreeing)
Father: in case you don’t want to take water bottle, carry money with you. And you are supposed to buy bisleri water where ever you go.
Son: ( might be giving a nod)
Father: promise?? that you wont have out side food.
Son: promise
Father: god promise??
Son: god promise
Father: mother promise??
Son: mother promise..
Father: do u really want to go out . I will prepare what you want to eat in the evening.
Then cut the call.
Now, my discussion is, do teenagers also follow this promise thing?? What is the difference between promise, mother promise and God promise?? Different level of not following the promise is it? Isn’t the kid old enough to decide for himself what is good and bad?? So much of spoon feeding is required?? GOD save the poor child or the parent. Somehow I always doubt the spoon fed kid. When there is so much of restriction, the teenager can always do things without his parents knowing na.
I am not questioning the parent giving instruction here. I am concerned about the age. The son might be the only son, but he has his own brains I suppose. The parent has to just guide him, not ask for silly promises in different tone. when you don’t trust the child, why do you take promise. once you have taken a promise, why do question him again?
edited to add: yes i too feel it is nice to have a caring father, who takes care of child. i too like the way he cares. but not the spoon feeding.
What do you say??
(edited to add): it is not that i heard the conversation intentionally. he spoke so aloud sitting next to my table. got really bugged with the number of promises he too from his son who is 15 years old.
archikish Prism 
What struck me in this conversation was the fact that he might be a single parent, who is over protective by default. But still, trying to spoon feed or control so much of your child’s life means that you are letting them slip away, at least emotionally. Do read my post Handful of sand, which discusses this subject 🙂
yes Zephyr, i read your post.. very true.. but he is not a single parent child. he has his mother there very much for him..
Actually I found it really sweet.. I mean our mothers keep telling us the same things but we ignore but a father hardly ever says all this and add to it he is also going to cook for his son.. I m really not one for spoon fed kids but in the case you mentioned above,, maybe the son just lost his mother??? Maybe I m wrong here but the over protective father does give me this feeling..
welcome to my blogspace Minlove.. yes it is sweet of him to take care..you rightly said, spoon feed is wrong but this care is nice.. u get the pampered feeling.. no no the son has his mother.. very much there.. in fact his mother gets up at 4.00 am to cook three dishes for him and packs his food by 6.00 am for his college..
Perhaps i am being too sexist, but i thought that was a very sweet conversation for a father to have with his child. I would think it was over bearing/over protective if a mother was having the same conversation but I think it’s endearing for a dad.
gkorula may be.. but if this happens in front of other classmates, teenagers, wont the kid be embarrassed?? i felt that he was spoon fed and was not allowed to think for himself. protection is good. but over protection??
Sometimes kids are so protected that they end up being completely dependent on parents. I am surprised that even something as small as water can make the father take mother promise, god promise and what not. Who does that nowadays?
yes, that person is a orthodox and systematic guy. the kid is never allowed to eat outside or share his food. but i respect him for the fact he packs everything for the teenager.
I agree with you that if we protect the kids TOO much that is also not right as they will not know what is going on and they might do something in retaliation..
its a very fine line .. like a couple of houses down my road , the family had a baby boy which was about 4-5 years ago, I know of it because there garden and my garden touch the walls, since the little ones first birthday .. I have not see the boy at all, they would not even let the kid out in the garden .. I spend a lot of time there during a good day ..
He is so protected it seems he has not been out of the house tooo .. now that cant be right is it ..
but then to each their own, i guess the parent knows best what is good for their own child ..
yes parents know what is best for their child. but they should not over-do things also.. 🙂
Hmmm I feel that taking a promise is rather symbolical and doesn’t really mean that there is no trust between them.
Sometimes we as a third party read too much into a conversation of strangers and I am not saying that you are the only one who does it. I too am guilty of it, I also overhear a conversation and try to be a judgemental. It is when my other side knocks sense that I think do I even know them to judge them that I wuit thinking about them 🙂
yes smita, but at times we dont hear intentionally na, they speak so loud sitting across our tables in office. for me i know the person, i know he spoon feeds his son. asking so many promises bugged me. i would have told yes promise if he had asked the same thing again to his son.