bunty talks


bunty was playing with my phone. she dropped it as usual. this time instead of crying, she tried to remove the battery and successfully removed the sim card too.

me: ohi, what are you doing??

bunty: charging..

i am surprised, from where she has learnt the word and used it for mobile. she is grasping things..

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while bunty is having food,

me neighbour: what are you eating bunty?

bunty: uppappu.. ( she means pappu, which is dal)

N: everyday you eat only pappu??

bunty: nods here head left and right saying no , and changes the food as kakka( that is what she is taught for Non-veg food).

again she has become manipulative. she doesn’t want others to comment on her food.  god knows from where she is getting these qualities.

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i am successful in teaching bunty to say rather the actions for good morning,evening, shaking hands. she says thanks you too.. 🙂

she can identity nose, lips and eyes.  lot more to go.. she has learnt to show the things what she wants. she will show her sipper when she is thirty and feeding bottle when she is hungry. that is a good sign indeed.

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now coming to the complaints about her,

she like to wear chappals,sandals and any footwear. but the bad part is she will want to wear everybody’s in the lobby. she will eventually push the shoe rack, ( i am scared that it will fall on her) and will try everything . she will search of the correct pair and will walk inside the house too with it. then i will have to take it back, ask my neighbors if it is theirs and arrange everybody’s shoe-rack. :(.

she already has four pairs for her, but still not satisfied like amma( me me me.. :))

she generally does her susu or potty in one corner of the house. she is scared to use potty seat, so we let her go, as she doesn’t do any where else. even if she is in my neighbors house, she would come back home and do it, or else she would do it the entrance lobby. but now a days she is purposefully doing it one me. today she did it on me at 8.45am. that means no time to change. hence rush to office with same cloths, smelling susu. hope ppl dont think it did it.. 😦

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did i tell you?

bunty wanted dog. she saw a dog on road and wanted it. so, what did i do, bought her a toy. so, now she is playing with it and wants to take it for a walk like my neighbors do.. 🙂

http://www.ashreyamom.wordpress.com

 

God save me and world around !!!


It’s raining.. Yes, I love rain when it is a holiday; I am at home and not going out. But today, I do not like it. I have to come to office, unfortunately chose to wear white cloths. I have to walk cautiously so that, no car splashes the water on me.  I forgot to take umbrella too today. God save me !!!

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It was so unfortunate to hear about the train accident in the morning. . It happened near my native place. My brother-in-law was supposed to travel in it, but luckily went on in other train as per his old schedule. Still that fear “if he had traveled” is so scary. Nobody to blame, but it just happened.

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I got some rashes 3 days ago. Didn’t know the cause. Went to doctor, he too couldn’t find out. I told you na, my BIL was here for the weekend, he found out small insects on the window AC. It was tiny as dots, and whenever we switched on the AC, it would fall directly on to the bed. Hence we found out the reason. These small insects generally come for hens droppings. After opening the windows we realized that few pigeons come and sit and shit on the AC unit. These insects have come for them. So from yesterday we have been sleeping on living room floor.

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today everybody in office went to particular table, and were laughing so loudly looking the monitor.  this is not the first time this is happening. they are not ready to include me to the group. their discussion continued and one person kept on checking my reactions and wanted to ensure that i am not listening to it. arey its office, they are discussing in loud voice, and i am not so dumb also. i could understand that they were seeing some colleague’s half dressed photos. they had been to beach on Saturday and had fun. intelligent them, they didnt even know that i can see the monitor’s refection on the window behind.  best part is they calling it as boy’s talk and excluding me from the conversation.. i just wanted tot ell them, ” grow up bachu”..  i am not the one who is going to feel bad for it, or react..

against celebrating puberty!!!



In south India there is tradition of hosting a function when a girl attains her puberty.  The girl is not allowed to touch anything which are washable, is made to sit idle with her own set of plates, tumbler, bed sheets etc and treated like untouchable. On the fifth day of her periods, she is called back home, rather can be normal herself after a grand celebration.

In olden days this was done to announce the world that there is a marriageable girl at their homes. No-touching was there for hygiene purpose and also was rest for the girl, as she would do major chunk of household work.

There were instances when somebody visiting my house would ask if I attained my puberty or not?? I never knew here to hide my face at that point.

But now a day’s people don’t understanding it, but just simply follow it. In fact my mom too tried to impose few such rules on me.

  1. She announced it to the world that this happened. Yes, it was embarrassing for me, as my neighbors were my classmates, felt bad facing the boys group for sometime later.
  2. I was not allowed to enter the kitchen or touch many things in the house. Considered UN-touchable. In fact felt embarrassed when some guest came home, I can’t offer water to them, and had to tell them that I was having my periods, so help yourself and get me also water from my kitchen.
  3. I was asked wash my hair every day, ( I had long hair) and then dry it up and then got o school, which means getting up an hour early.
  4. Even when I rolled in stomach pain, my mom wouldn’t touch me or sooth me.

I kept quiet for some time, but more than that I couldn’t tolerate this. But I couldn’t convince my mother on it either. So, I had to use my weapon dad. And then stopped this practice.  Then I realized that this means I am fighting only for myself but not changing the system. I took it on me to change at least my close circle who followed it. Didn’t know how. I met my pediatrician, asked her to speak about it in school as a guest lecture. I also asked the doctor to talk about the misconceptions about it and orthodox systems followed. She was ready to help me out.

The doctor delivered the lecture such a way that, every girl thought about the UN-touchabilty.  They indirectly went and spoke to their parents about it. I am happy that after that, 3 families stopped following this system. My mom didn’t host this celebration for my sister and is keen in not doing it for her granddaughter. Now my mom tells her friends not follow this system.

Yes I stood up, for me, my family and other girls who couldn’t speak up at that particular time. But now days, almost every girl has her freedom to choose what she wants (for the function held).

This is my entry for “I Stood Up” contest of Women’s web I stood up Blogathon.

Note: now my mom explains thinks biologically and scientifically when she talks about puberty. She doesn’t embarrass others by asking whether your daughter has attained puberty or not??

note2: u can see the proper fights which can happen during in the function and the torture the girl faces by having fancy dress with costumes depicted in movie kadhal . will upload the video when i get it. 🙂

The I stood up-Blogathon


Have you had such a moment when you stood up? Presenting the ‘I Stood Up’ blogathon! Write about a situation in your life when you stood up – for yourself or for another.

 

This was the question asked by womensweb. I kept thinking thinking, but couldn’t recollect anything strongly. Then I thought why not take up the points raised by womensweb and look by in my life, if I did anything? Oh yes, it looks like I have almost raised my voice for every topic given below.

Against inequality- injustice happens all the time. At times, it is injustice just for you, at times it is for your group, sometimes to entire human race.

First injustice I noticed, or heard from my mother that, my birth as a girl was not accepted by my father or family, but my boy cousin’s was celebrated. This didn’t stop there, but grew with me. One fine day when I was 8, I protested to my grandmother, saying I won’t accept this indifference, and I needed justice. I wanted to play with new toys, study well and get all benefit what my boy cousin gets. I was so adamant, and in fact threatened my grandma that, I would complain to police about the inequality at home. Though family laughed at the moment, but realized the depth of my feelings (as I protested without taking food for a day or so) and changed. My father changed so much that he just wanted his next child to be girl. Now, family welcomes birth of girl child more enthusiastically.

Against harassment- it was not that I reacted to harassment very first when I faced it. It took time for me to gain up the courage. This courage came only after I discussed a particular eve-teasing incident with my neighbor’s daughter. I was in school, and she was in college. This happened in front my mother. My mother being by ever support asked me to speak out. She said, “how would I know what happened until you open ur mouth.” That was enough for me to open up. I   knew she was there for whatever I reacted. Next time whenever someone tried to feel me up, I always give a stare to him, to confirm whether it is intentional or accidental. When I know that is intentional, I just ask him what he wanted, loud enough for others to hear and look at the guy. ( I am not writing a particular incident as it happens regularly when I travel in bus).i am still standing up against the harassment faced in public transportimage courtesy: link

 Against oppression- this happened when I was in school. A particular teacher was partial towards Brahmin community. She would give them more marks and treat my fellow classmates who belong to the group well. At one point I couldn’t take it anymore. There is a particular Tamil slang which is used by Tamil Brahmin. So, I learnt the language and submitted my project work to my teacher and said,” project-a attu lendu kondavandu submit panituen. Nenga ada seta pathu,full mark podunga.” ( I brought my project from home, please see it and put full marks). She understood my intention of using the language and stopped being partial. I stood up for myself and my classmates against oppression.

 Against prejudice- while my college admission, my parents asked me to write all engineering entrance. But I was adamant in writing architecture entrance. It was by default taken that I don’t know much about the world. Somehow I wanted to prove them that I had done enough of research and can write an entrance exam even without coaching. Yes, I proved them that I could do it by bagging a state rank and becoming an architect now. I stood up for myself and proved that I can think ahead of my age.

image courtesy:link

 Against discrimination- I am the only female in my dept. I didn’t have any problem. But, when the site work was on, my boss never asked me to go to site as I was pregnant. But, other colleagues started making statements saying that I was not given much of work being women but take full salary. This irritated me. I spoke back saying that, I am being paid for the work I do. I don’t have to answer anyone other than my boss. They are no one decide on my capabilities. I also went through all the procedure like them for entering this particular job profile. On requirement I would work on night duties too. there were days, i was asked to work on weekends too despite the gender. i was more eager as i had to prove them. i even took few site analysis alone, climb up and down the scaffolding, talk to labors and came up with good results. now i am considered as part of team and not looked down because of my gender in the construction field. I stood up for women community working in a construction profession.

Against injustice- property division.  My parents wanted to give me more share, as I was the elder and help them out in finances. I felt bad and asked them to reconsider and give equal share to me and my sister. I stood up against the injustice in a relation based on responsibility undertaken.

there are many instances when everyone has stood up. few are note worthy, few are life saving and few are just for self satisfaction. noted ones are published on papers and take media’s attention. few just say thanks and go away and few instances we say sabash to ourselves.

now my only aim is to make child child aware of her rights and act judicially. 

my beautiful hairstory: a question and an answer


Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair problem and the solution is DOVE. and that was the end of my hair problem.

P.s. This blog entry is for a contest on Indiblogger on My beautiful Hair Story sponsored by Dove. vote for me here.

Find out how hair aware are you with Dove here : Dove hair-aware app.

bunty’s hair story !!!


I am yet to do “mottai-aditul”(head shaving) ceremony for my daughter. Yes, getting rid of birth hair is big affair in south-India. There is specific age and time to do it. You can do the act either in 7th,9th or 11th month of baby or else do it only after completing  2 years, in between you cant. By chance, if you expecting second baby, then it is advised to do this ceremony for both the kids together, means wait for another year.

I couldn’t do this for my daughter, as it was peak summer. I didn’t prefer traveling all the way to my husband’s village, some 800 kms away from where I am staying, with frequent power cuts and no-toilets.

We realized that, my daughter’s hair started growing more after the 9th month. Now she is 14 months old, her hair is really unmanageable. Look at her pic when she was born, all most no hair, now it’s a dense forest.

http://www.ashreyamom.wordpress.com

first thing in the morning what we do is apply caster-oil on the center of the head. later followed by a ritualistic bath. we apply olive oil,then massage. then allow the oil to soak. then take besan, and give her a proper head bath.

Then, we give her the sambarni smoke for drying the hair.

now her hair has grown fast with proper care given, but became unmanageable for us. we need to really put so many clips for her, so that it doesnt fall on her face.

http://www.ashreyamom.wordpress.com

MIL is another person who wouldn’t give my daughter a head bath if it’s raining or if my child catches flu. Result, so much of sweating, my daughter got too many rashes inside. We didn’t notice as it was not seen from outside. She just keeps scratching her head. That is when I realized there is problem and noticed the rash.

Then, we tried so many things, nothing worked. We had to take her to the doctor and apply the prescribed medicine and took good care of the hair and that was the end of my(daughter’s) hair problem.

P.s. This blog entry is for a contest on Indiblogger on My beautiful Hair Story sponsored by Dove. vote for me here.

Find out how hair aware are you with Dove here : Dove hair-aware app.

Promise, mother promise? god promise?


image courtesy

A conversation I overheard. It was between a father and a son. Father was speaking on phone with is teenager son.  Yes, I had heard only one side talk, but could understand the essence and built up the son’s dialogue( yes, I am creative in that, I can frame conversations).

Father: hello, did you finish studying XYZ topic?

Son:  yes/no ( as I really don’t know) S uncle wants to take me out.

Father: sure you want to go out with the uncle?

Son: yes, I want to go out

Father: then, do one thing, take water bottle from the cupboard and wash it. Fill water from the aqua guard, put it a plastic cover and take it with you.

Son: (may be asks about some food. )

Father: don’t take outside food. Eat at home. Say no when uncle offers you cold drink.

Son: (probably agreeing)

Father: in case you don’t want to take water bottle, carry money with you. And you are supposed to buy bisleri water where ever you go.

Son: ( might be giving a nod)

Father: promise?? that you wont have out side food.

Son: promise

Father: god promise??

Son: god promise

Father: mother promise??

Son: mother promise..

Father: do u really want to go out . I will prepare what you want to eat  in the evening.

Then cut the call.

Now, my discussion is, do teenagers also follow this promise thing?? What is the difference between promise, mother promise and God promise?? Different level of not following the promise is it? Isn’t the kid old enough to decide for himself what is good and bad?? So much of spoon feeding is required??  GOD save the poor child or the parent. Somehow I always doubt the spoon fed kid. When there is so much of restriction, the teenager can always do things without his parents knowing na.

I am not questioning the parent giving instruction here. I am concerned about the age. The son might be the only son, but he has his own brains I suppose. The parent has to just guide him, not ask for silly promises in different tone. when you don’t  trust the child, why do you take promise. once you have taken a promise, why do question him again?

edited to add: yes i too feel it is nice to have a caring father, who takes care of child. i too like the way he cares. but not the spoon feeding.

What do you say??

(edited to add): it is not that i heard the conversation intentionally. he spoke so aloud sitting next to my table. got really bugged with the number of promises he too from his son who is 15 years old.

Book review- The Taj Conspiracy


This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

note: have taken this book review style from Scribby’s blog with permission.

About the book

Author

 Manreet Sodhi Someshwar

Picture of the Author

 

ISBN

9789381626139

Price [INR]

250.00

Pages

192

Main Plot given

Mughal scholar Mehrunisa Khosa stumbles on a conspiracy to destroy the Taj Mahal when she discovers the murder of the Taj supervisor, and the Quranic calligraphy on the tomb of Queen Mumtaz altered to suggest a Hindu origin of the Taj Mahal.That urban legend had always existed. Now, though, someone was conspiring to make it come true.In the case of the famed marble monument, all was not on the surface. A vast labyrinth ran underneath closed to visitors where Mehrunisa was trapped once. In a series of suspenseful twists and turns, the action traverses from the serene splendour of Taj Mahal to the virulent warrens of Taj Ganj, from intrigue-laden corridors of Delhi to snowy Himalayan hideoutsAs a right-wing Hindu party ratchets up its communal agenda and Islamic militants plot a terror attack, in the dark corners of his devious mind a behrupiya, a shapeshifter, is conniving to divide the nation in two. To save the Taj Mahal, Mehrunisa must overcome a prejudiced police and battle her inner demons as she sifts the multiple strands that lead to the conspirator.

No. of Characters

Heroine: Mehrunisa  Khosa, a diverse person from birth. Half Indian cum Persian. She is alos a Mughal scholar. ( how much I wish I could be that).  She think she herself is reflection of mixed culture and heritage. She  accidently finds a dead body , which is next to Mumtaz cenotaph, and also finds the calligraphy altered, which says, Taj has a Hindu origin. She is also a part of the crime investigation happening around there. To save the Taj Mahal, Mehrunnisa must overcome a prejudiced police and battle her inner demons as she sifts the multiple strands that lead to the conspirator.Shri Kripalaniwho heads the Hindutva revivalist party, a politician. Hindu party ratchets up its communal agenda and Islamic militants plot a terror attack, in the dark corners of his devious mind a behrupiya, a shapeshifter, is conniving to divide the nation in twoProfessor Kaul, an expert in Mughal art and architecture, mehrunisa’s grandfather.SSP Raghav and R.P. Singh : CBI and police officer, who investigates the case.

Tone of writing is

Straight and simple
My take on the book

Do I recommend the book?

Yes, for one time reading, and history lovers.

The reasons I liked the book

> The author is adept at sketching interesting characters and keeps the proceedings gripping with a twists and turns at regular intervals.> author merges history, crime and contemporary Indian politics. It’s a perfect gel with the story line.> At times  the details given in the book, makes us also question the origin of TAJ, the details are yet to confirmed, but changed the perspective of the monument, it is just opposite to what I studied as part of Mughal architecture. Manreet has put in years of research to come up with accurate facts of the Taj Mahal. The facts are inspiring. There are so many quotes from Mahabharata. For me it is just not a book, but there so much of research done on each explanation, and it is evident.>The narrative is gripping with lots of twist. I liked the way the characters of Mehrunisa and cops SSP Raghav and R.P Singh are etched, their dedication to find the conspirator behind this evil plan to destroy India’s most famous monument.( you get the patriotic feel)

>its a strong female protagonists write up.

On the other hand

> The book is a Indian mystery, at times reminded you of the “Da vinci code”, talks around the famous “ Taj”, our nations pride.> The climax – although tense – is a major letdown. It’s a pity that a story with such unambitious and believable build-up, melted into a disappointment.my rating: 2.5/5.

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Satyamev Jayate- touch the un-touched.


I think the the show just aired things happening in the village and didn’t give the perspective of people living in suburbs.

In my native palce:

I don’t know if many of you have seen the untouchablity. I have seen it at my very tender age. I was not allowed to play with the maid’s daughter, as I can’t touch her. Or she can’t touch me. She was served food in separated plate and glass, it has to be washed by her and kept in a corner of the kitchen. I even remember asking my grandmother, when she can’t touch us, why do get work done by her. She is touching our things, and we are indirectly touching it.  Result, no answer. ( all this happened in my grandmother house)

I have also seen another telugu community, where they don’t touch their kids till they are few years old, the baby is taken care of by a lower caste person, all day and night. Somehow it is also a notion that all the mediocre jobs are done by lower caste person.

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I mean, who created this, low high, caste etc. my understanding is, people were just grouped based on their occupation in olden times. That became even surname for many. But things gradually changed with time, people changed their occupation and standard of living. There were few communities/caste people, who were not very privileged and Govt, came up with this reservations. (Another biased system)

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At my home:

Then I completely forgot about it. We lived in a gated township. Where everything was normal ( as in people didn’t talk about caste-ism openly. ) but, still the group moved with their own community, which I realized in later years. It was ok with my parents if I had food/moved around with my neighbor’s, who belong to different caste or religion.

But things drastically changed during my college admission. I got really angry, when someone in the name of reservation got a better seat in college, with lesser marks then me. That is when I questioned about this system.

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I know the show talks about the caste, discrimination and lot more faced in the community, but it didn’t touch upon the undue privileges misused.  I am not saying anything wrong about the episode of SJ, but just adding on to it, things which I faced.

  •   I was not given a good college seat, even when I deserved, as I didn’t belong to certain caste.( yes it irritates, when you can’t pursue your dream just because of the caste)
  •  I was not allowed to attend some wedding, as they didn’t belong to my caste.( it was my maid’s wedding, as she belonged to lower caste.
  •  I was not allowed inside a particular religious place as I was not of a particular community.
  • Though I couldn’t afford so much fees during my college days, my parents had to struggle and pay, but someone who had both parents working, rich, paid half the amount as fees, as he/she belonged to reserved caste. ( is it not misusing the facility)
  • After finishing the college, where ever I went the first question I was asked is which caste I belonged to?* irritates me tot he core, when i don’t answer, they ask if i belonged to lower caste and that is why hesitant to speak it out*.
  •  Did any of face questions like, I thought you belong to certain caste, because of your complexion??
  •  Isn’t it unfair that, someone would get promotion a year before me, as he/she belonged to particular caste?

There are so many problems, whether you belong to so called upper caste or lower caste. Why all this/ why can’t we just be human, do our work and move on in life. But unfortunately, we fill the very first application with caste name, when the child is born. With few hours we put them into the circle. India will prosper only when we remove the caste from all the application we fill.

note: you may or may not agree with me.. it is just my views.