Eve-teasing


reading IHM’s this post triggered me to write this incident.

 

I commute to office taking a share-auto or bus, that particular day, I left office early so that i can take a less crammed-full bus. Here in Vizag, there is no meticulous rule of women entering the bus from front entrance; men using rear entrance, senior citizen take the front two seats next to ladies seat. i found most of the times, I senior citizen crowd to be more pervert than the teenager or middle-aged men.

a lady was standing just in front of me, was wearing the proper dress, in other words most accepted saree. I got a seat just behind her, and I sat. a man, must be in his fifties, came and stood next to me. Accidentally of purposefully he tried to fall on my shoulders, I gave him a stare. He quickly moved a seat ahead and didn’t come near me. But, I kept my eyes on this fellow. He went and he started stroking that lady’s breast. First he put his one finger, stroked when the break was applied. That lady didn’t react or look back at him. Then he continued doing it. I and other lady sitting with me exchanged glances. We knew what was happening. I was about to hit the fellow, but the other lady (sitting next to me) stopped me. She just asked me,” why are you bothered? “.

I was bothered as that fellow was misbehaving with her/ using her to satisfy his whatever..  I couldn’t stop myself, I took photographs and videos with my mobile without flash, hoping that, the lady there would react and I have it as evidence for his act. But to my surprise, the lady didn’t react. For one moment I thought she was slut enjoying the act. But when I was getting down, I saw tears in her eyes. It bothered me for a complete week. The incident is still in my eyes. If at all, the lady had the guts to speak up, or just give him back an angry look, she would have not had those tears in her eyes.

Now thinking back, was it her dress, saree which provoked that guy? saree, conveniently opens up near the hips and with wind flowing the bus, gives a glimpse of the breasts through the blouse??  i have read various survey where saree/ half saree declared as most sexiest outfit. But it the traditional and most accepted outfit in my community. or is it the attitude of the women, as she didn’t react? What would have happened if she reacted/slapped or questioned back that guy? Was she scared of telling out that she was used up?? So many questions… as in what is the reason for her not to open up or speak up for her rights to say nobody can touch her without her concern..??

She was not school kid, who is scared of adult men acting on her, she looked like working women, a grown up, married, but why she didn’t just turn back to look at that idiotic man…

Now I can’t do anything about that particular incident. I can only hope that women react to such men, and make sure that eve-teasing doesn’t happen. I can educate my daughter about these happenings and explain her what are her private parts and why it is named private, why nobody had rights to touch it without her permission even if it was me or her dad or neighbors.

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18 thoughts on “Eve-teasing

  1. Feel so bad for that lady, but there are some ppl who cannot stand for themselves….while i was reading the post, i was thinking what i would have done if I am at your place…might be even i could not intervene coz might be possible that i raise my voice but the lad chickens out and that pervert gets an upper hand… somehow these creeps feel encouraged with the victim’s silence…

    P.S. blogrolling U 🙂

    1. welcome here Nbose.. u r right.. the victim’s silence has given him a green signal to proceed.. if at all she raised her voice, i would have supported her.. read shails comment.. we could have done that..

  2. I know a few years back I wouldn’t have known how to react to such a situation. If the other lady wasn’t reacting, how do I help her? But now I know, I can at least tap her on the shoulder and ask her, “Is there a problem?” She might or might not respond, but if she does, then it also might make it easier to help her fight the harasser.
    I can understand how you must have felt. Just reading about the lady’s tears makes me livid at the man.

    1. very true Shail.. why didnt i think of asking the lady myself.. but now i wont forget this tip.. thanks a lot for this useful tip.. will never forget..

  3. This is sad, really sad. I live in Kathmandu and I’ve never seen anything like this in public transports or anywhere. Plus why didn’t you reacted? You are educated and you knew something wrong is happening? If you say “You thought that the lady was enjoying it”, it’s wrong….No woman can enjoy that sort of stuff, never. Not even a slut. Next time you notice anything like this. Do react, there is no place for regret in life. I appreciate your emotions though. You definitely have a good heart.
    P.S. No offense. Just a thought shared.

    1. no problem.. not taken offensive,, i didn’t react that day.. it was bad on me.. i waited for that lady to react by herself..
      katmandu is really nice place to live ..

  4. Hmm I woukd say get up and slap this ba@&%*/ but then you dont know if that lady would do. If you do something she might not support you.
    Such are peopke.

    Personally if it was me I woukd have kicked this man..

    Sad what happened why this man would do this I dont know.. And I also think what is so manly about this.. Sad sad saddddd

    1. you are Bikram.. but why should i slap for someone else.. if they dont open up.. what if she was enjoying it( not this case though).. i can support her, if she reacts..but react for her na..

  5. The best you can do is, next time hit the guy on the head like you had originally intended. I bet he’ll be so embarressed that he won’t have the guts to retaliate. But it is hard to speak up in society, somehow we are constrained by respecting everyone’s private space…

  6. Most of the time women are scared to react because they are sure that there won’t be any support for them. They know that half the people sitting there feel “how does it bother us”. The day we start feeling secure we will start reacting.

    But yes the incident gave me goose bumps!!!!

      1. Hmmm not really but see there are women who never open their mouths, they have been submissive all their lives and such women need a support system to fall on. And there are numerous examples when women who have tried protesting have faced a bad fate because nobodu stood up for her. It is such thoughts coupled with the conditioning that “why create a scene, it will harm your reputation” which stops women from reacting. Sadly they donot realise that in a way they are encouraging peverts of the society because they know they can get away with it.

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