First Award


so, here is my first award,

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by scribby

thank you scribby for this beautiful award.. u made my day..

taking from Scribby’s post, the rules that come with all the awards ;):

  • Link back to the blogger who nominated you.- Check
  • Post the blog award image on your page.-check
  • Tell 7 facts about yourself.-check
  • Nominate 15 other blogs.-check
  • Let the nominees know they been chosen.-check

7 facts about myself-

1. love to dance in rain, at least sit next to window watch each drop falling down

2. like anything to do with splashing of colours. saying it painting, rangoli or even cooking

3.like to watch SRK movies. DDLJ for any number of times, and cry for stupid scenes. basically love all romantic movies.

4.can get angry for very small thing, and forget about it very next moment.

5.if the customer service is bad at any mall, cant come back home without picking up fight..

6.a wanna be fashion designer, turned out to be an architect.

7.shopaholic.  ethnic wear freak.. wouldn’t mind buying N number of jumka’s of same style.

and lot more.. stopping with &, as i am asked for 7..

now passing on the award to few in the same list as scribby,

  1. R’s Mom
  2. Bikram
  3. Lifessong
  4. comfy
  5. deboshree
  6. IHM
  7. cybernag
  8. nonsensegirl
  9. RS
  10. ruchita
  11. seema
  12. smitha
  13. sugar n spice
  14. tikulicious
  15. Visha

please accept the award..

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from ashreyamom

Perverts are more in conservative society. .


I have lived in metro city, B1 city. But now moving on to B2 city I am finding the difference. Metro life is so fast that, people are always busy minding their own work. At certain instances, only when both members (man and women) work, they can take care of the expenses. In that case, they don’t have time to peep into anybody’s life. The only weekends they get, people spend with family, kids or cleaning.  At least that is what I saw in “study city”. The cloths are trendy, you get most of them in throwaway price, whether it’s sleeveless or jeans or skirt nobody is bothered. In fact people don’t even give you that damn look for short cloths as everyone around is wearing the same.

When I was in “work city”, I realized that people were brand freak. You find all most everyone in jeans on Friday or any day for that matter.  Sleeveless, skirts are so very common here. Any new dress you wear, people ask you the brand, they don’t compliment the looks. It was a city were weekend boozing was common, and gender was not a discrimination.  Live-in relation did exist here.

Now I have come to “new city”. It is not very cosmopolitan. You find it is in transition from being traditional to trendy. The biggest problem is, everybody wants to interfere in every others life.

 Here people are bothered,
If I do car pooling and get dropped down by my colleagues,
If I don’t wear my sindoor or toe ring,
If I wear sleeveless or short tops for jeans,
If I call my husband by his name in public,
In fact people don’t mind their business, but interfere in others matters.

Now coming back to the topic, I have roamed in jeans, short tops, low neck kurtas, sarees and almost all kind of outfit in Chennai, Mumbai and Bangalore. But nobody had a objection. But had loads of problem, when I moved on this “new city”.  I was coming to office, on road I just see a teenager, pulling down his pants and rushing towards me.. I got in fact scared. Ran towards a temple nearby. I discussed with my other female colleague. She also said, she faced same kind of problem, whenever she wear a sleeveless and work on road. My other north-Indian friend gave us a shocking fact that, she has seen men masturbating on road early morning. She wouldn’t know until she nears them. she stopped going for morning walks.

Now my doubts,
What can be the reason for the perverts?
Is it the fascination they have for white skin?
Is it the they do this only to other city people?
Or the conservativeness of the society?

For me it looked liked it is more to do with the conservativeness of the society. When you see everybody around you in saree or salwar kameez, and suddenly notice someone in sleeveless and skirts, men get entertained.  As, they are not used to this dress, any women wearing it becomes their target. Also, it is taken for granted that women wearing such stuff are giving them signals to approach them. Now, I can’t call skirt and sleeveless as provocative. When it is considered appropriate in certain cities, why not in others.

Note: I have written this post based on my experience; hope not to offend any particular city or community. and yes, i am expecting lots of difference in opinion and comments ..

My hair care fear .. And that was the end of my hair problems!


After reading this topic, I asked myself what is my hair care routine.. Did I really care about my hair??  Then I found this amazing poem in a blog. Read here for other details.

Kissing her hair I sat against her feet,
Wove and unwove it, wound and found it sweet;
Made fast therewith her hands, drew down her eyes,
Deep as deep flowers and dreamy like dim skies;
With her own tresses bound and found her fair,
Kissing her hair.
Sleep were no sweeter than her face to me,
Sleep of cold sea-bloom under the cold sea;
What pain could get between my face and hers?
What new sweet thing would love not relish worse?
Unless, perhaps, white death had kissed me there,
Kissing her hair.
(“Rondel” by Algernon Charles Swineburne)

Then I was fascinated and wanted to know how all this developed, as in hair style.. How people of those era used to take care of their hair and style them. Found this very interesting information. Go through Wikipedia for the detailed explanation. But here is the essence of it.

History

Read here for ancient hair story.. The importance of hair across various civilizations. It looks like hair and styling was given importance.

Egyptians and Greek women had long hair and used expensive accessories, in fact dyed their hair with henna. Romans used various tools like curling and ironing.  In china women braided their hair and geisha’s had hairdo’s done in Japan. African had this multiple braids done with coloring and stiffening. American had long hair and also bobbed hair. The western world preferred to cover the hairline with low caps and jeweled turbans and on and on…

it shows that people had hairstyles based on culture, gender related things existed from then.

Coming back

A hairstyle can be done on anyone, but whether it suits us are not is important. The various criteria for selection is by many factors, such as the subject’s physical attributes (natural hair type and growth patterns, face and head shape from various angles, and overall body proportions; medical considerations may also apply) and desired self-image or the stylist’s artistic instincts.

Now that I know what style to be done, I need to know the tools to be used on the hair.. such as Styling products like Leave-in conditioner, conditioning treatments, mousse, gels, lotions, waxes, creams, clays, serums, oils, and sprays are used to change the texture or shape of the hair, or to hold it in place in a certain style. ( did u know so many things existed? Honestly I came to know about them only now)

With this general preview, let me discuss my hair problem..

“All is well” was my statement for many years.. I never had problem with my hair. In fact I was known in my locality for my long hair and it continued. I always did relatively low-maintenance with my hair .  I only use to really boost the softness of the texture by using conditioner which is available in market with shampoo.

Then got married and became pregnant, still things were fine, as I was on vitamin pills. Result, I was glowing than usual, with good skin and hair.

With all the joy of welcoming the new born in the family, the un-welcomed hair-fall started.. It was a disaster I must say. Firstly I didn’t have time to take of myself. No time to take proper hair-wash, I couldn’t take hair wash, twice a week. Yes, my grandparent believed that I might catch cold and in-turn baby will also get flu. I was so frustrated that I went and literally chopped my hair. From waist length hair, mine came down( rather up) to shoulder level.

Not washing the hair regularly resulted in dandruff. Pregnancy hormones made the hair-fall worse. One day after hair wash I came out of the bathroom crying. When my mom asked what really happened, I just showed her the water drain cup, filled with my hair clumps blocking the water completely. In that rate I thought I would get bald soon, in fact I even thought of storing the fallen hair, so that I can make wig for later years.

image courtesy

image courtesy

My mom exclaimed that it is normal, but I couldn’t bring myself to peace. Next day I visited the doctor, where I learnt that Hair loss after pregnancy is one of the commonest problems reported, usually during period of one to six months after delivery. The reason behind is the changing levels of hormones such as estrogen and progesterone in the mother’s body.

I learnt that in postpartum period, hair become very weak and are more prone to break down easily. So, like my grandparent said shampooing frequently is not good, as it would break my hair.

I was given “ Sambrani” smoke created by using aromatic powder on charcoal  and given to hair. It dries up hair naturally and also the moisture content. Then I was make to wear” attu kattu”, a hair style made by just using the two side strands of hair from ear top and one from center, and plated. And rest of the hair is let loose. This also helped in quick drying of hair naturally.

Later, with a needle, the knots are removed. After every knot is cleared, comb is used.  If Hair is tied up tightly or pulled it will lead to their breakage.

With the baby, with seasem oil, I was also given light oil Massage

The doctor also said, hair loss after pregnancy is not a very grave condition if proper care of hair is done and balanced nutrition is taken.

This problem is temporary and the most important thing to be kept in mind is that as the old hair is being shed, new hair is growing, I came back to my normal but with a shorter hair And that was the end of my hair problems!

Love your hair with care … it always make you look prettier and merrier!

This post is part of a contest  by Indiblogger, sponsored by dove. to check out Go to the Dove Hair-aware app. on Facebook!

gift-dis-aster.


I have been reading many post about gifts from fellow bloggers.. So here is my post on it. I received a gift from my husband on Saturday.

What could it be for a handbag and footwear freak like me? It was a leather handbag.  Black leather handbag to be precise. A small one, which is contrary to my likes. Yes, I like to carry big ones, as it can hold lots of contents.

 Conversation while giving the gift:

He: when did u come from office?

MIL: he has got a gift for you..(Brings the handbag to me)

He: (feels bad that the surprise what he wanted to give me is gone), ya I got it for you.

Me: oh really?? Thanks a ton.

 

(Note: MIL is still standing there in the bedroom listening to our conversation)

 

He: take it

Me: ok, let me see it.

MIL: you carry big bag na.. Remember the auto wala said, all the place is occupied by bag, so this bag will solve the space problem..

Me: (thinking, I am not going to travel in same auto everyday na.. what space problem does it solve?? It creates many small bags for me now) all right.

He: Amma can you get me some coffee??

MIL: ( goes inside kitchen, realizing that she didn’t give me and hubby privacy to speak)

Me: very nice bag.. I thought u didn’t have time to shop for me.. J

He: yes I didn’t.. I went inside the shop. I told him my budget. He showed up  3 bags, I just picked one, paid the bill and came off.

Me: * confused look* what???

He: and also I don’t expect you to like it..

Me: what??

He: yes, I myself didn’t like it. So, I don’t expect you to like it.. It looks out of fashion, and sober..

Me: (stands speechless) so??

He: nothing, I will get you something better next time.. As of now, it’s a small gift from me..

MIL( returns from kitchen):  empty your old handbag. Hope all your stuff fits in your new bag..

Then, I try putting everything in the new bag and realize half my things don’t go. So, I decide to keep few stuff in office draw and rest in my lunch bag..

 

 —————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

when I got married, my mom’s friends discussed among themselves and with my mom and got me all kitchen appliances, like pressure cooker, rice cooker, food processor, juicer etc etc. so nothing repeated and I just moved into a new city and just started my house without any difficulty. My friends gave me money as they thought I would use it the way I want it, in fact I said that I would prefer money than carry a gift all the way from chennai to vizag. But whenever I receive money from friends I make sure i buy something really useful and show them later that this is what I bought, I dint waste your money. in fact in our friends group for wedding gifts, we have made it a rule to ask the person what they want and buy it within the budget, if it exceeds, we ask the person to money from their pocket for the gift( it is an understanding, nobody makes a fuss on it).
I do the recycling, as I don’t have much of place and it’s repetitive of an item. And it so happened that in that cycle I got the same thing back for another occasion. .. (Such things do happen ok)

Talking about expecting gifts, my sister always orders what she wants as a gift for her b’day a month before.. .. And she gets it too.. I don’t get confused what to buy…

For close friends I do personalize the gifts and surprise them.. It always turned out to be hit than a flop till now.. Except for one time when my mother told, I would have felt happy if i got that instead of this..
Talking about the gift options, depends in people, there those who are happy just with greeting cards, few who complain about wrong design even if u get diamonds.. So, nothing is best or worst..

(Note: this is the comment I wrote for RM’s this post on gifting)

 

Eve-teasing


reading IHM’s this post triggered me to write this incident.

 

I commute to office taking a share-auto or bus, that particular day, I left office early so that i can take a less crammed-full bus. Here in Vizag, there is no meticulous rule of women entering the bus from front entrance; men using rear entrance, senior citizen take the front two seats next to ladies seat. i found most of the times, I senior citizen crowd to be more pervert than the teenager or middle-aged men.

a lady was standing just in front of me, was wearing the proper dress, in other words most accepted saree. I got a seat just behind her, and I sat. a man, must be in his fifties, came and stood next to me. Accidentally of purposefully he tried to fall on my shoulders, I gave him a stare. He quickly moved a seat ahead and didn’t come near me. But, I kept my eyes on this fellow. He went and he started stroking that lady’s breast. First he put his one finger, stroked when the break was applied. That lady didn’t react or look back at him. Then he continued doing it. I and other lady sitting with me exchanged glances. We knew what was happening. I was about to hit the fellow, but the other lady (sitting next to me) stopped me. She just asked me,” why are you bothered? “.

I was bothered as that fellow was misbehaving with her/ using her to satisfy his whatever..  I couldn’t stop myself, I took photographs and videos with my mobile without flash, hoping that, the lady there would react and I have it as evidence for his act. But to my surprise, the lady didn’t react. For one moment I thought she was slut enjoying the act. But when I was getting down, I saw tears in her eyes. It bothered me for a complete week. The incident is still in my eyes. If at all, the lady had the guts to speak up, or just give him back an angry look, she would have not had those tears in her eyes.

Now thinking back, was it her dress, saree which provoked that guy? saree, conveniently opens up near the hips and with wind flowing the bus, gives a glimpse of the breasts through the blouse??  i have read various survey where saree/ half saree declared as most sexiest outfit. But it the traditional and most accepted outfit in my community. or is it the attitude of the women, as she didn’t react? What would have happened if she reacted/slapped or questioned back that guy? Was she scared of telling out that she was used up?? So many questions… as in what is the reason for her not to open up or speak up for her rights to say nobody can touch her without her concern..??

She was not school kid, who is scared of adult men acting on her, she looked like working women, a grown up, married, but why she didn’t just turn back to look at that idiotic man…

Now I can’t do anything about that particular incident. I can only hope that women react to such men, and make sure that eve-teasing doesn’t happen. I can educate my daughter about these happenings and explain her what are her private parts and why it is named private, why nobody had rights to touch it without her permission even if it was me or her dad or neighbors.

A visit to gents toilet !!!


reading  gkorula’s this post triggered me to write this post, which has no co-relation, but just got reminded of it.

I went inside gents toilet, when I was 6 years old. I walked along with my friend who was a boy, and went inside accidentally. But, I didn’t say anything to anyone, didn’t feel anything.

Next I went inside gents toilet when I was in college. It was intentional. I planned to go many times, that day I decided that I will definitely go. Before you guys imagine anything else, I am an architect, so as a architecture student it was needed for me to understand how the urinals work. So, it was official site visit to gents toilet. But, without getting permission from teachers. J

During my training period in 7th semester, I made terrible mistake with the toilet detail. My boss got frustrated, he wanted to tell me that, u need to step up to pee and urinal has to be at certain height, the partition between the urinals need not be of full length as nobody is going to peep. Mirror and do location should be kept in such a way that privacy is ensured.

How was I supposed to know that there is level difference between the floor level and the urinal floor level? How will I know about the partition height? This time, my boss said, I can’t help it; this is what happens when I ask a girl to design a gent’s toilet.

heat sensor urinal

( I thought I should have told him, that without a case study and model, how was I supposed to design urinal correctly, didn’t have guts to)

Later, I joined a private industrial firm. Where, I designed urinals with my previous knowledge gained during the training. Having a lady boss with me, saved me from trouble.

After few months of joining in the office, I was assigned the renovation work on the ground floor. That was when; I saw my actual urinal design coming into existence. I went through so many catalogs, visited vendors and got to know various varieties of urinals, starting from squatting once to waterless, to sensor to heat-sensor urinals.  I paid so many visits as part of inspection and testing the auto sensor working with pouring water on urinals and what not.

Episode-1

One day, when I was working on a Saturday, I realized that the water pipes for the ladies toilets were closed. May be admin people thought, women don’t work on weekends. It was an urgency, so, I had no choice but to enter gents toilet at my own risk.( I didn’t see anyone working in my wing, so walked it with a confidence). I finished my job, came out. That is when I was scared. My wing gents’ toilet had just one WC, 2 urinals and a washbasin. What if I was inside the toilet and come out to see someone using the urinal??, or just zipping in front of me?? Actually the office has two wings, and two gents toilet on one wing and one ladies and gents toilet in the other wing.( construction business na, so the proportion of female is less than male)

urinal design

Episode -2

I told you already that renovation work was going on. So females from ground floor had to use the toilet in my floor. So, the floating population and waiting time in the toilets increased, as we had one WC in ladies toilet. Again it was pro-active me suggested to change the gents toilet in the floor to ladies toilet. In-spite of putting a notice and sending circular, by habit, men come till the door and turn back. One instance, when I was just about to enter the converted gent’s toilet, the pantry boy just opened the toilet door. Both of were horrified, thank god, I didn’t scream but did make a noise which was heard to people sitting close to the restroom. From then, I just wait for few second when I have to enter the converted toilet. Poor guy, didn’t have guts to face me for many days.

Episode-3

I was working in late hours that day. All of a sudden, I hear footsteps, I get conscious and took the mopping stick from the janitor and was ready to hit whoever it was (as I was the only female on the floor), I open the door and see a security guard standing there. I didn’t get any words. I was scared and just went inside the toilet again and took my mobile to call up my friend. He came running, was standing out of the toilet door, waiting for me to come out and ensure everything was right. I came out and was glad that I saw a known face. I switched off all the light and was about to leave, I saw the same security again. I bluntly started shouting,” security, and security”. He said, “I am here only”. Before I could utter another word, he said sorry. He explained that he had come to check and switch off all unwanted lights when I was inside the toilet, he heard the flush sound and was about to leave and that is when I saw him.

 

Episode-4

For one of the competitions in the office, I had worn a nine yard saree( this photo was also taken inside the restroom). Proper madisar for 8 hours straight. That means, If I have to pee, I have to remove the saree completely and re-dress again. Yes, I managed to do it 4 times that day. I had to remove the saree, throw it out and use the toilet and come back and do it. Every time I was careful to lock the main toilet door. But one time I forgot, so you can guess the disaster right?? Thank god, it was in ladies toilet, and the person who entered was my boss.

Other toilet disasters are pants nada( thread) going inside or getting knotted , I forget to lock the door in urgency and then just hold the door with my palms resting on it, so the door doesn’t open even if somebody pushes, or going inside the toilet with hanky , mobile and pen and not knowing where to put them. Waiting in the queue and chatting had been the best time-pass. I even did photo-shoot session in front of the toilet mirror when I am all dressed up and my boss enters.

Did you ever face such a situation??

Passport renewal


Yesterday I had been to passport office. There were so many things to do. I had to wait in big queue for getting inside the building. Later, I had to sit in a big waiting hall, to take an appointment. It was funny, yes, u move seat by seat, when the first person, few rows before you finishes his query with the passport officer. After a wait of two hours my turn came. Can you believe he gave me appointment date in august for tatkal?? What is the purpose of tatkal?

Then, I had to request the security to allow me to meet the APO. Yes, he let me see him. After a long conversation, he accepted my request and gave me appointment for today.

I went to passport office. It is too good, the ambiance and the service too. At par with the corporate culture, it didn’t feel like I was in a govt office. Luckily I had all my documents with me in order. Within two hours everything, including the cancellation of old passport was done.

Now next task is taking passport for the bunty. I am just getting worried, if I have to take for the appointment and stand in the queue for hours together. My god, even the thought of it is making me dizzy.

Now coming back I had lots of questions:

–          Is passport office trying to get more revenue by making ppl take new passport after they get married in the name of spouse name addition, change of address, renewal etc etc.?

–          Now, if you have to take passport for the kid, new rule is that, parents should have added their spouse name in their respective passport. That means, two fees to be paid, then third fees for the kid?.

–          Minor passport expires in 5 years, so take the kid, u as the guardian go along to with the kid for renewing it every five years?.

–          How does this system work abroad, where changing partners is common, u have a biological father and guardian too?

–          Is it IRCTC, where major revenue is through ticket cancellation, passport offices too get money majorly from renewal and addition of spouse name and change of address?

I took my passport when I was in college, that too because it was compulsory for attending placements.  I didn’t bother about adding spouse name after getting married, as I thought marriage certificate will do when I travel. But now, when I have to take passport for my baby, all this has come up.  Worst part is doing it all alone when your hubby is not staying with you. Other problem is my old passport is Chennai issued; now I need to get in vizag. Both mine and hubby’s passport have different address. so it a problem when i have to take passport for bunty.

finally all this is because, i didn’t want to pay the fees for just adding spouse name, when my passport still has validity.  why cant adding spouse name be just a stamping on one of the pages, instead of  making me a new passport. 😦

What has my husband to do with a Nail polish??


So here is my grumble on my neighbors and my daughter. I went back home from work and realized that my daughter was very eager to show me her hands. I just overlooked and continued to walk inside the house and started keeping my handbag and lunch box at the assigned places, just then the red color drew my attention. I was shaken and surprised to see my daughter wearing red colour nail polish. Before I could ask my MIL, she (MIL) herself came with one word answer neighbors.

It seems my MIL herself told them that she is just a kid; she might eat it off, and requested them not to repeat it. After a day, I realize that Bunty is wearing nail polish again. I got furious. I went to ask them why??, my neighbors just replied,” why do you worry? We put it on legs only na, she can’t eat it. “. After that I didn’t feel like replying them anything. Few minutes later, MIL came out and said,” my son doesn’t like girls wearing nail polish”.

Now what is the reaction you expect from me??

I was dumb stuck; in fact thought it was true.

Neighbor immediately apologized and also promised that she won’t do it again.Don’t you think it is a shocking behavior of my neighbor?

the following questions ran in my mind;

Does that mean, she has no respect for women and my views? Is it not discrimination? I understand that she considers my husband to be the head of the family, but does it stop me from thinking or making decisions on my daughter and house? Did I say something different and did my husband say something else?? I seriously don’t understand why?

Image

image courtesy: http://www.shutterstock.com

I don’t like my MIL using my husband’s name for every rescue purpose. But, unfortunately only this works in my neighborhood.

 

Note: my husband is not bothered about nail polish. But, yes he doesn’t want my 1 year old to wear it as it contains chemicals.