Posted in learning and investigations, life, man and women

Do things always go wrong with me? Or do I always choose the wrong things?

“Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or not, really depends on how u look at it. “

I have never felt this way. Why I am going restless? Just because,” you didn’t call me? “.Or is it because “your attention is on someone else?”

I only know that I have gone crazy. It’s not the one night stand I want in my life. But it’s something more. Now I feel,” I can’t stand even a night without u.”

“Take up all your courage and do something your heart tells you to do so that you may not regret not doing it later in your life……..” I sent u this. Immediately, u asked me to come along with you; I had no problem with it either. U took me on your bike on the roads which looked familiar. Sky was darkening, street light were sparkling. I was feeling cold, to comfort me, u came behind. Suddenly, Gap between us reduced. There was tension building between us.

U took me to show your new room. There was no power .It was totally dark. I struggled to make my way to the door. U asked me to wait in the hall. Still the persistent coldness troubled me. I was hugging the wall and stood there, in a corner, shivering. All of a sudden I felt your hands around me. By the time I realized, u were kissing me. I couldn’t resist. I wanted to pull myself away. I couldn’t. I wanted to run away, I was caught by the warmth of your hands which comforted me. One thing led to the other thing.

By the time I realized, I was crying on your shoulder. I was hurt, it was a stabbing pain. U tried to console me saying nothing happened. I begged u, to take me back home. U took me back. I couldn’t move a step further. You came along with me, inside till the parking lot. We sat on a bench. I couldn’t stop crying. U didn’t know how to console me. U found it hard to choose the words. U took me in your arms, kissed me gently on my cheeks. U asked me to go home and sleep. I slipped on the staircase, still didn’t have courage to look back at you.

I am afraid to look back. That night, has changed our lives. Changed the way I am, and u are. U could adapt to the change so well. I am still finding it difficult to digest it.

But things never stopped there. It continued to happen. I don’t know why its repeating? May be because I couldn’t resist you, neither could you.

I couldn’t control my curiosity. I asked you,” why me?”

You blankly replied, “Because I made up my mind that I wanted you the day we met each other”

My heart flared with a hope which rapidly became pain, as I reminded myself that you were talking practically, not sentimentally, I asked you,” but what if I hadn’t … agreed?”.

you said with a smile” I knew you would agree”

I was angry that you so cleverly manipulated me, but also that you appeared to show no regret for having done that.

There is no we with me and you. It is all me. I, I was in love with you and always had been. I told I wanted and you had called me bluff-but none of it had worked out. Why,” we aren’t even lovers”?



I welcome you here! My blog is primarily a blank paper with chronicles of my everyday thoughts and happenings around me spilling like colours. It has various hues, bright, cheerful at times dark episodes of my life. I like to speak a lot and tell stories, but rarely find patient listeners. So, here I am venting out, everything crossing my mind. it is also a record book of my little Barbie’s antics and growth. It is just not about the baby ,but also helps me to keep track of fights and special moments with husband, in-laws and friends. I am an Architect by profession working for an Govt. away from husband because of job location. I love writing, painting, reading and cooking (occasionally).I like roaming around and window shopping. But, now unable to move even an inch outside, because of my daughter. I am originally from Andhrapradesh and have lived in Tamilnadu for 25 years and now back in Andhra. So you will find mix of words from both the languages and me trying to settle down in this new place. Thanks for stopping by. I would love to hear from you. Please email me at

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